Taking On Stress
Throughout my entire life I have gone through so much. From elementary to middle school I was bullied because of my size and appearance. I was laughed at and called names but couldn’t say anything back or tell anyone because I didn’t have the courage. I thought I found my way in high school, but eventually lost so many friendships because they found new and cooler people to hang out with. Many of my friends started drug use, which caused me to stop hanging out with them because I didn’t want to try it. I’ve always been ignored and neglected, even by my closest friends. People leave me out of plans and refuse to invite me. I try to find out why but never get an answer. I never had anyone to lean on or help me out through the first 18 years of my life. It seems like I might be at fault because people don’t like me for a particular reason, but the more I think about it, the less I find out what went wrong.
The sad part is that people ignoring and bullying me isn’t even the worst part of my life. The stress that I have encountered over the last few years has absolutely torn me to shreds. Going back to my high school years I always had so much homework to do, study for the SATs, apply for college, and make the people around me happy, all at the same time. Now entering University of Delaware I have even more work and accomplishments to complete, but my college academic career is only getting started. I try so hard to be perfect in school to impress my parents and family to get some attention, but it only causes me to experience more stress. I have eventually reached a point where I have been so stressed out it led me to depression. I have recently been finding it extremely difficult to enjoy some of my favorite hobbies such as playing video games and reading because the only thing that is on my mind is school. If there has been one thing that has completely broken me down, and I wish I could control throughout my life, its stress.
One way that I have learned to cope with my stress is from a book called “How to Do Nothing” by Jenny Odell. This book is a fantastic read, and after taking time to analyze and understand the message, I can confidently say my life has taken a turn for the better. I learned from the book how I can deal with my stress to better myself, and get out of this over-achieving, over-working world that is constantly bringing me down. Odell’s message taught me that there is so much more to life than constantly working, and that it is important to take more time to visualize and enjoy my surroundings. For so long I’ve been longing a way to become more efficient and finding a way to keep myself in check, which I was gratefully provided throughout this read. This book not only provided the guidance that I desperately need right now in my life, but also assisted me in understanding why I am here on this beautiful planet we call earth. “How to Do Nothing” has actually changed my life and helped me seek what’s truly important in life.
One thing that has greatly irritated me recently in my life is when people say that anxiety and stress are just a hoax. If I’m going to be honest I used to think that too until I started experiencing it for myself. A lot of people take anxiety and stress out of context and use it as a way to make themselves fit in with this struggling generation, which causes a lot of confusion around the actual problem. According to the results of the Mental Health Foundation study, 51% of adults responded that they were stressed, and 61% responded that they were anxious. This statistic shows that 1 of every 2 adults suffer from some type of stress in their life. The results from the Mental Health Foundation study also revealed that In the past year, 74% of people have felt so stressed they have been overwhelmed or unable to cope. This is a real issue and needs to be fixed. Growing up in a generation where around three fourths of the population say that they are unable to cope with the stress of everyday life means that something is clearly wrong. It is no one’s particular fault, but should be acknowledged and more people should understand the severity of this problem because it can typically lead to worsening issues such as depression or suicide. Stress is a huge issue in today’s world that is constantly being overlooked by employers and people in higher management. Because most people don’t see it as an issue, employers tend to force their employees to work more overwhelming hours causing an even bigger load of stress on even more people.
I will say that stress is in fact a real problem and has had a major impact on my life. Throughout my academic career the stress I have endured has been painful. In high school and now sometimes in college, whenever I would get an assignment I would freak out. Instead of taking time to analyze my situation I would rush to get things done immediately. In some ways this is good because I would get my work done early, but in other ways it is not. Instead of taking time to enjoy my life I would always be working. I had a mindset that if I wasn’t doing school work that I was being unproductive or lazy. This mindset kept me at home on the weekends instead of partying, hanging out, or meeting with new people. It kept me from experiencing the great times high school was supposed to uphold. Not only has the mindset of being productive caused me to be stressed, but also the overwhelming workload. I have always worked extremely hard in order to get good grades, but the amount of work was crazy. I would have essays due, tests to study for, books to read, and other homework assignments all on top of each other. A lot of people have the mindset that they could turn something in with half effort and everything would be fine, but not me. I couldn’t live with the fact that I didn’t put 100% effort into an assignment because I was always afraid of receiving a bad grade. Stress is a real problem that has kept me from reaching my full potential of living the best life I possibly can. I needed a change and needed one quickly.
In chapter 2 of “How to Do Nothing”, Odell proves that stress, over working, and anxiety is a real problem by explaining the experience of “Levi Felix”.
“In 2008, at the age of twenty-three, Felix had been working seventy-hour weeks as the VP of a startup in Los Angeles when he was hospitalized for complication arising from stress. Taking this as a wake-up call, he traveled to Cambodia with Brooke Dean, his girlfriend and later wife; together, they unplugged and discovered mindfulness and meditation of a distinctly Buddhist flavor.”
The fact that a person was so physically destroyed by overworking and needed urgent medical care proves that this is a real issue. After his hospitalization Levi realized he needed a change in his life and eventually started his own digital detox camp to get people away from work and focus on being one with nature. Although the camp would get people away from their work life for a short period of time, everyone would forget what they learned and eventually come back to their stressful, over working lives. At this point in the book I realized that I am very similar to the people who attended the camp. I need to digital detox to find the activities that I enjoy to get my mind off my stress, but I also need to stop continuing to come back to my old form of burying my head into my phone and continuing to work overwhelming hours. I realized that if I don’t turn things around in my own life my stress could get worse and may even hurt my physical health like Felix. I realized that I needed a new way of keeping myself in check and on point for the future. In order to do this I have limited my phone time, and set reminders for assignments and when to complete them. This has caused my phone to be less of a distraction, and increased my productivity during the day, ultimately creating more free time. I have also become more flexible with my school work, and understanding that not everything will be perfect has helped me enjoy more time with my family and friends.
Throughout her work in “How to Do Nothing”, Odell talks about her experiences from her own life and uses multiple examples of how we can better enjoy our short lives. One of the main ideas that I took from the book is that, in order to help cope with stress, we need to find a better way to destress. Normally when I am stressed out I look at my phone, watch YouTube, go on Instagram, and calm myself down by using my technology. Over the last decade of my life when put in stressful situations I have been turning to my smartphone or laptop and consuming myself deeper in the realm of media. My excessive device use has caused me to trust and listen to the lies, useless information, and waste so much of my time. I have been giving in to the attention economy all my life and haven’t even realized it. Odell tells us that this is wrong and there is a much better way to be at peace with ourselves we just need to find it. In chapter 1 of the book, Odell talks about how she would go “bird-watching” and practice “Deep Listening” to keep herself at peace and to get away from the stress and anxiety of the attention economy. She would take notice of the little things that most of us don’t pay attention to such as identifying the birds by their size, shape, color, and the nature that surrounds her. She even changed her walk home to become more aware of the nature around her and not worry about her work life.
“However you refer to it, what this practice has in common with deep listening is that observing birds requires you quite literally to do nothing. Bird-watching is the opposite of looking something up online. You can’t really look for birds; you can’t make a bird come out and identify itself to you. The most you can do is walk quietly and wait until you hear something, and then stand motionless under a tree, using your animal senses to figure out where and what it is.”
I made a very deep connection with Odell’s bird-watching experience. I thought of Odell as myself, searching for a way out of this never ending load of stress that I am enduring, and the birds as a better way of life. There are so many different types of birds, and although they might not expose themselves, they identify themselves with their vibrant colors and unique chirps. Although life won’t always come out and show itself, we can listen to clues or hints that life wants us to pursue.
In order to find a way out of my stress, I tried Odell’s method. I have taken more time for myself to find out what I really enjoy, especially outside of the house, away from technology, and away from school work. I tried meditation and other ways to be calm, but I found that the best way for me to destress is being active. One activity that I relish, and am actually very good at is basketball. I have played basketball for most of my life, but never really thought of it as a way out or a way to be at peace with myself. I began going to the local park more often, and found that basketball keeps my mind off my school work and rough social life. I originally started out by just going to the park to just shoot around, get exercise, and watch some of the other pickup games, but as I continued to practice and feel more confident in myself, I found myself joining in on the pickup games. I started out being really nervous by passing the ball a lot, and being reluctant to shoot. I was afraid of being made fun of and being told I wasn’t good enough. As time went on, I started shooting the ball more, and showed everyone what I could do. I became a solid player that everyone enjoys playing with. During one of the games, I was getting extremely frustrated because I wasn’t performing to the high standards that I know I can. One of my teammates, whom I had never met before, told me, “Don’t worry about it, just have fun. That’s why we’re all here.” This made me realize that all these people are just like me. They love this sport, and are looking for a way to enjoy themselves, maybe not destress or get away from work, but an activity they do because they love the game. I took that message to heart. I need to stop worrying about being the best player on the court or best student in the classroom, but to just be myself, and enjoy the game of life while I still can. Not only has basketball been a way to keep myself at peace, but has also helped me develop new friendships and meet new people. I have connected with so many other people from different ages, races, genders, and ethnicities at the local basketball courts, and now have an entirely new group of friends. Thanks to Jenny Odell, I have a new, enjoyable, and more productive activity to entertain myself and get away from my stressful life at home.
Although Odell and I both found new ways to get away from the attention economy and our stressful work lives, our situations are actually very different. While Odell is an adult and working a full time job, I’m still just 18 years of age as a full time student, trying to decide which career I want to pursue. She doesn’t need to worry about what she will do for the rest of her life because she has already passed that point, but I am still in search of what I want to do for a living. Odell uses birdwatching as an activity to enjoy the nature around here, away from the attention economy, while I use basketball as an activity to enjoy myself and get away from my stressful everyday life. Although both of our situations are different. Our goal is the same, we need to get away from the “work until the day we die” mindset. How we approach the goal is very different, and will be different for every human being. As humans we all mess up, enjoy different things, and none of us are the same. But one thing I’ve been having trouble understanding is why I am here on this earth. Although the answer is never clear, and frankly impossible to determine, one thing is for certain, we all matter. We can all make a difference in this world it just takes hard work and communication. All human beings will struggle throughout their lives, and yes, times will get tough and stressful, but we are all in this journey called life together. It’s how we resolve these issues, based on our certain situations, that makes us stronger and more resilient human beings.
References:
“Mental Health Statistics: Stress.” Mental Health Foundation, 13 May 2018, www.mentalhealth.org.uk/statistics/mental-health-statistics-stress.
